Being right and building good relationships

I have a habit of writing my life learnings onto a living document which I call Constitution. One of the sections in it is called “learning from 2023”. In that I was reemphasizing something and thought it might be helpful to others too. So, here it is:

This year I’ve learned about the importance of building strong relationships in both my personal and professional life. I’ve come to realize that simply being “right” about something is not enough to gain people’s support and having a good relationship with others is also crucial.

This involves spending time with family, friends and colleagues and just talking about each others life.

In the past, I tended to focus solely on building my skills and pursuing my projects without prioritizing relationship-building. However, with time, I have recognized that having a good relationship with people gives me an extra edge in persuading others to embrace ideas. I’ve observed that people are more open-minded to new views, and they are willing to fight for these ideas even when I am not present.

And in case my ideas are bad, they give more candid views on what is wrong rather than beating around the bush. This leads to faster iteration.

In contrast, when I am just “right” about something, people may not necessarily be motivated to support me, and even minor disagreements or misunderstandings can lead to pushback. I’ve noticed this pattern not only in my professional life but also in my personal relationships with my parents.